I can tell you for a fact that whole Pizzagate thing is real, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. What I'm about to tell you may seen a bit bizarre and you might laugh after reading it, but I assure you it is 100% real. I saw it for myself.

This conspiracy doesn't just involve one pizza parlor in Washington DC. No it affects pizza parlors all over the world, even your local ma & pa pizza parlor might be in on it. Besides from running pedo rings, these parlors are involved in another wicked plot.

You know how after you eat lots of pizza, you get acne. And when you eat even more pizza, those zits become pepperoni shaped. And your skin becomes cheese. And your hair, toenails, and fingernails become crust-like. And your blood becomes marinara sauce. And you have a sudden lust for children. You have just become: A PIZZAOID.

"How can this happen" is a question that anyone reading this might ask. I do not the exact science behind it, so I'll give you a simplified rundown. This because the pizza contains a mixture of GMOs, grease, and a mysterious chemical that pizza parlors use called Chemical X. Chemical X has the ability to change a person's DNA with the DNA of the food that they are currently ingesting, as well as giving the mind pedophile thoughts.

When a person has become a Pizzaoid, Madame Tussaud's will ship them a plastic skin which will replicate their former human skin. Notable Pizzaoids are Guy Fieri, Hillary Clinton, John Podesta, Queen Elizabeth, and even "Papa John" Schnatter himself.

Please stay away from Papa John's, Little Ceaser's, Domino's, and Pizza Hut because their pizzas contain Chemical X. However, Happy Joe's and Papa Murphy's are fine.

Please share this message with as many people as you can so we expose the Pizzaoid globalists.