Regarding Star Wars: The Force Awakens ( conspiracy )

submitted by salvia_d

I just need to do a little venting and this is the best place to do it.

What a piece of rehashed, over hyped, boring piece of shit that was. They have a whole fucking galaxy to work with and they play out the same story. It's not a Death Star, it's a Death Planet. It's not only a father son thing, but a father daughter thing and a brother sister thing - oh wait, we had that last time too.

Thank the force for torrents because this venting would have been a lot longer if I had actually paid Disney for this shit.

*EDIT: Just thought I would add this, if you want to watch a sequel, a brilliant one at that, forget about Star Wars: the Clone Wars, take a look at [Creed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creed_%28film%29).*

tehlolman

top kek

k_digi

I have a 'Star Wars' 'Conspiracy' for you

it's all basically accurate, it is the 'humanoid' general history, that is why 'humans' probably feel such affinity to it.

it's not 'human' history but 'humanoid' history, some of you were there.

https://voat.co/v/Contact/comments/748008

Also i thought the movie was fine, it accurately represented the Reptilian modifications and the homonoid modifications, also the two groups that were chasing 'Solo' the 'Irish' group and the 'Asian' group are likely the major players in the NON UGA area.

it's all pretty accurate.

salvia_d

Cool.

salvia_d

lel

"explodes"

ps. Joking aside, compared to Star Wars, Creed was a masterpiece.

rhy

The bar was set pretty low by phantom. This one was like 20 billion times better than that smoking piece of dog shit.

robtimus_prime

Sounds like someone really rustled your jimmies you unique and beautiful snow flake you. You're the poster child of the "deep critical thinking" and "original thought" that is pervasive in /v/conspiracy .

salvia_d

lol... I wonder how you feel about the last three Star Wars movies from Lucas... hmmm?

robtimus_prime

Lol... I wonder how you feel about rational thought formulating your own opinion...hmmm?

ElspethTirel

I disagree, and here are a lot of spoilers why:

I do not think the plot was "rehashed" so much as called back to. I think a lot of the "this is the same exact story" arguments are pushing the line. The parallels are on purpose, they are story elements- they aren't done out of laziness. Rey being on a desert planet, her skillset (speaking droid, wookie, flying, tech repairs) are all hints.

The "death planet" entirely makes sense because Kylo Ren worships Darth Vader. He wants to be him . The novelization of the film (which is canon) adds a lot of details that the movie lacks, which provides a ton of depth to their character development.

http://www.dailydot.com/geek/star-wars-force-awakens-novelization-highlights/

JJ Abrams loves Star Wars. He is a true fan. I love Star Wars, I love Star Trek- and the 2009 film is nothing compared to the Force Awakens.

On the topic of conspiracies however, this is the stuff I've read about so far:

  • Finn is "given" his name by Poe, and Poe is designated "Black Leader" in the resistance

  • Kylo Ren perpetuates the "angry, violent, white patriarchy"

  • I did cringe when I saw the Stormtroopers (still eyerolling that nobody bats an eyelash at that name anymore) touch down on Jakku "Landing at Normandy" style.

  • One eye symbolism in the posters

  • The BB-8 "white cuck ball" shit circulating is nonsense. Although BB-8 is definitely referred to as "him" by Finn, and "he" by JJ Abrams, it is a droid and doesn't technically have a gender. I thought it gave off a feminine vibe, but I tend to think small and cute things as feminine if they aren't outwardly masculine.

7/10 right now, so I would write more but I haven't really been thinking too hard about it.

Migrantworker

JJ is a jew who loves money. What better way to make loads of it than rehash a movie from 40(?) years ago. Change a few names and make the Death Star 3 a who planet and boom! Goys are gonna love it.

salvia_d

I give it a 3 out of 10.

Just a quick questions, so you were totally okay with a person, Rey, with no training in the force beating Kylo Ren at the end? That was the part that took it from a 5 out of 10 to a 3 out of 10 for me. Just stupid.

As for a continuation of the story, I have no problems with the story being continued, I was actually looking forward to it, but why did they have to tell exactly the same story as before? They basically took Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi and put it all together in one film with different people playing the same part. The only thing that was missing was a hand being cut off... oh wait, did that happen as well?

ElspethTirel

Firstly, I think Rey was already in training. I think she was with Luke, and was one of his top students when Kylo went Anakin. There is a trope about going to great lengths to avoid reminding people who lost memories about them, for fear it would damage them somehow. But, it's just a theory.

The novelization adds a lot more detail to Han's death and Kylo versus Rey at the end however.

Firstly, Kylo is not a sith- he is still training.

Second, he is wounded from a shot to the abdomen from Chewbacca's bowcaster- something that would instakill anyone else, and can cause explosions normally.

Third, he's suffered a huge spiritual loss in the killing of Han. I'll quote from the novel:

Stunned by his own actions, Kyo Ren fell to his knees. Following through on the act ought to have made him stronger, a part of him believed. Instead, he found himself weakened. He did not hear the roar of the enraged Wookiee above, but he did feel the sting of the shot from the bowcaster as it slammed into his side, knocking him back on the walkway.

A bit of irrelevant text, then:

Amid the rising bedlam and confusion, Kylo Ren struggled to stand. As he did, so his gaze turned upward. Why did he think killing Han would make him stronger? Did Snoke tell him that? Why did it make him weaker?

salvia_d

Thanks for the additional info.

For sure Kylo was weakened but it doesn't do away with the poor storytelling. If he was able to use the force to through Rey into a tree, he should have been able to kill her with ease, not to mention take care of Finn with one blow - a dramatic lightsaber battle between the two was ridiculous.

I don't doubt that the books did a way better job in telling the story, my issue is with the movie. A poor adaptation is just that.

edit: spelling

robtimus_prime

You're wasting your time man, you can't apply rational thought to these kind of people. Right now it's "cool" and "edgy" to hate star wars around here. So this dude is just regurgitating the ideas of others

Gerplunckamo

/v/Conspiracy is not your blog.

salvia_d

Any commentary regarding Star Wars and Disney pretty much belong on any conspiracy forum.

Gerplunckamo

Fair enough.